Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
