im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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