So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
