Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My pussy is not your playground.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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