tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
