she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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