Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
whose parrot is this?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
