I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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