NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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