Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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