oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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