Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
