suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
