Don't you send me to vm
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
