I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm going to jail i love you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
