Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
