Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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