batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
