i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
