New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's the barista slut.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
