and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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