I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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