Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
