You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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