she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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