Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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