4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The cops high fived after they tackled you
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
