Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
