You made me cry and you don't even care
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize