a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
