she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
