i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
