That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
