dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
