You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
