I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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