the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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