Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
only you would photoshop your dick
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
