Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
