Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
