If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
