My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
