I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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