I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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