i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
