It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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