Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
