just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
