I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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