peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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