don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
