it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
