Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
