I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Who died my cat blue again?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
