that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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