we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
