I wish I could teleport
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize