just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
