just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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